The Noise Factor

Greetings Ladies and Gentleman of the United States of America.  This is your Canadian representative, The Dan.  What we have are a series of questions posed to you from random Canadians that you can answer for us.  Send them to my direct e-mail account at chevradionoise@gmail.com and these will be read tomorrow during the 9AM-Noon editing of my show at www.chevradioam.com.

Here are some of the questions posed to you:

1. Are Americans embarrassed that CFL balls are bigger then NFL balls?

2. On a given day, how many people get laid at Disneyland and Disneyworld?

3. What’s with America’s fascination with scepter muscles?

4. Why is the Star-Spangled banner laced with an incredible amount of sexual innuendo? (Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there, who’s broad and we don’t want to know what is gladly streaming).

5. What is with your infatuation of reality television and Paris Hilton?  Is it because both suck?

6. Why call it a bathroom where there is no bathtub anywhere in the room?

7. Is WhiteCastle that good?

8. TRADE ALERT: We have a dandy of a deal.  Since you guys are looking to win the 2008 Summer Olympics in basketball I would trade you back Steve Nash and I’ll throw in Shania Twain and Donald Sutherland for LeBron James, Carrie Underwood and James Cromwell.  That way Donald can play Kiefer’s dad on "24". 

Remember to tune into the All-Star Blogger Show tonight on www.blogtalkradio.com.  Good luck to all those involved in tonight’s program.

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Never let a Bengal out of it’s cage - words to live by.

- Odell Thurman is the latest Con-cinnati Bengal to have yet another reported incident, this time punching and kicking two men.  Obviously this locker room has gone beyond ridiculous.  How do you stop it?  Don’t you think Cincy has excercised all of their options to keep their players out of trouble?  Well, everything except cut loose the cancers of the team.  Easier said than done as they have made investments in these guys who nobody else wants.  But if they have not tried this trick yet, they should do so immediately:

Have at each player’s locker a copy of Sports Illustrated article of Carson Palmer’s underwater rehab.  Then place a picture on the door of Palmer’s knee injury from the 2005 playoffs so that every player that walks into the room is forced to see it.  As you enter there are pictures of his grueling rehabilitation and his road back to the NFL.  If that cannot inspire players in that locker room to change themselves or put the team first then they have to leave now.  What Carson Palmer did to get back to being Carson Palmer in that short time frame was remarkable and inspirational, and sadly it has not rubbed off on the rest of the team.

- I thought I saw Eric Mangini on The Sopranos Sunday night.  Guess I was not halllucinating.

- Gary Sheffield believes there are less black players in the major leagues for reasons I am confused over.  He did say that there are players not in the majors who can do it better than guys who are currently major leaguers right now.  Question Gary: Who are you talking about?  Name one black player who is not in the majors who can be an impact player?  The answer is none.  Your buddy Derek Bell is not the right answer.

He said that latin players are easier to control than black players.  Really?  There haven’t been hot head latin players that have never been deemed ‘uncoachable?’.  That’s bullcrap.  He needs to just focus on hitting the baseball until October comes around so he can perform his annual playoff chokejob.  His BALCO statements tell more truth than that garbage.

- He may have been Orlando’s second choice, but Stan Van Gundy is their best choice.  They can pay him a little less money to do a better job.  Why?  First because Billy Donovan’s head wasn’t right…Second because Donovan is a college coach trying to coach in a man’s league and last Van Gundy had a very good run with Miami.  He pushed that team to the playoffs in Dwyane Wade’s first season, then missed the NBA Finals in 2005 due to injuries to Wade and Shaq, then was replaced the following season which he had a good record.  Nobody is ever sure of a great college coach, but they have a guy who has proved he’s worthy of a coaching job in this league.

- Sticking with coaches, who would take on any Oakland coach who’s powerless position has been well-documented in "Moneyball".  If the coach does very little, how can you consider an assistant to be worthy of a managerial job?  There is a guy I continue to mention who has won 2 World Series championships, 4 division titles in 5 years and was the first black manager to ever win a world series…

Cito Gaston.

He was almost hired by his former player, Ken Williams, who passed him over for Ozzie Guillen.  Had Cito won the 2005 World Series we’d be talking about a Hall of Fame manager right now, and pointing at every team excluding Toronto asking why they did not have him higher on their managerial hiring list.  Pass over a champion for a never-will-be, go right ahead.  As Guillen is melting down, which was inevitable, they could have had a steady manager who knows how to handle veterans as he did that for several years in Toronto.  I was not high on Gaston back in the day, but in today’s era he would flourish as a manager.  I have never understood how managers become retreads when they have done nothing to deserve another shot.  Cito has a much more impressive resume who deserved better than simply being a hitting coach for Toronto under Jim Fregosi.

- The NHL series could be coming to a close very soon and a lot of people have debated over several things.  First, Daniel Alfredsson’s shot off of Scott Niedermayer.  I don’t think it was intentional because that could have come back to hurt his team.  Skaters going up ice and the puck changes direction the opposite way - not good if you are the guy who shot the puck.  So I say it was not intentional.  If it was intentional it get’s shot higher.

As for the "diving", there is one simple explanation for you: What team doesn’t dive?  Every team does it, it’s how you choose to see the game for yourself.  So that complaint holds no weight.  Basically, Ottawa is down 3-1 to a team that has been better than them through 4 games, enough said.

- The Detroit Pistons should be regretting the Darko draft pick today.  With 4 of their 5 starters and their best bench player getting up there in age they have no young nucleaus that can lead them back to contention anytime soon.  Had they drafted Chris Bosh, and not Darko or even Carmelo Anthony, they would have a new franchise player to go along with Tayshaun Prince and whomever they were to bring in to surround them over the next few years.  Sure they would have passed on obtaining Rasheed Wallace back in the day but they would have done something else instead and they would be fit to be a playoff-bound team once the older guys leave the palace.

BIZZARO DEELEY-O? - Will be posted up tomorrow during the day so check it out right here.  Thursday all show we’ll be answering your responses so check in tomorrow on my new post and we’ll DO THIS!  I have a few ideas already so I can’t wait for that.  Cheers.

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It’s the beginning of a new week with the beginning of a new blog, new shows for the week, new blog show from Frank and every second that we live is new.  Pretty cheesy but who cares?  Let’s get this post rocking and rolling…

- The Detroit Pistons prided themselves on playing their best basketball when their backs are against the wall.  Really?  Where’s the proof?  How close to the wall were you when you beat the Lakers in 5 games in 2004?  Where was the Game 7 victory when your backs were against the wall in 2005?  What about 2006?  What the hell was 2007?  Basically, the Pistons are full of shit when they say they play their best when their backs are against the wall.  They disproved everyone that thought they were the runaway favourite to win the East Conference.  They let one stud and a bench player kill them.  They were given every opportunity to exploit the massive holes on the Cleveland Cavaliers team and they decided they wanted to play the "light switch" game, where they could turn it on and off whenever they felt like it.  That is the wrong way to play the game and they simply got burned.  Now Cleveland can walk into the NBA Finals where they should get their brains beaten.

- Yes, San Antonio should win their 4th title since 1999 after they dispose Cleveland in no more than 5 games.  If it takes 6, call LeBron the Playoff MVP (or finals MVP, whatever you want).   There are no enough seat belts on LeBron’s back to carry them to a championship.  Besides, watching Cleveland win would be a problem.

Why?  Because the West is the dominating conference and they produce the best teams in the NBA today.  The East is struggling and to see a team considered very weak for NBA Finals standards win this year’s championship would not sit well with most people including me.  The Spurs have been better, have played better and have played better teams from day one in this season. 

- How many times will you continue to let things slide, NHL?  How many hits to the head will you let Chris Pronger commit before you finally give him a severe penalty?  Give him a suspension for the rest of the Stanley Cup finals and send a message to the rest of the league that this will not be tolerated.  Will you get flack for the ruling?  Yes, but what is the difference to you?  You get flack anyway for your poor rating, poor decisions and poor product exposure and how you’ve handled the product.  There is nothing to lose for making the proper decision for not only this series but for the future of the NHL where there will eventually be a casualty for a blow to the head that you didn’t fix because of weak suspensions like this.  As the saying goes, "No Guts, No Glory".

- Jason Giambi may be done for the season.  Is that because he is legitimately injured or is he ducking the drug testing?  Regardless, the Yankees had their chance of voiding the contract and should have done so.  They would need to use that money to pay Roger Clemens who has hurt his groin.  Apparently it was a pitching injury but supposedly he was in Alex Rodriguez and A-Rod turned at the wrong time.  That was probably caused by Andy Pettitte walking in.

- AL MVP and NL MVP so far: Vladimir Guerrero and Jose Reyes.  Any problems with that?

- Back to Stray-Rod, to blow his marriage and family on a stripper is ridiculous.  There is nothing intelligent about that decision.  You don’t make your child grow up resenting you because you couldn’t stop yourself from banging a stripper.  Could you blame that child for growing up angry?

- The Los Angeles Lakers are thinking about taking a run at Marcus Camby.  Why?  So they can lose round 1 from the 6th spot rather than the 7th?  Camby is not the answer to their problems.  If Andrew Bynum is suppose to be their future big man then let him be your guy from now until you decide he cannot cut it.  A championship-type run for the Lakers is 3 years away so you may as well build Bynum, get a point guard and may need to trade Lamar Odom as he may not fit into their future plans. 

- The French Open is getting closer to becoming watchable as Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are playing themselves closer to the finals.  They are the two biggest reasons to watch Men’s tennis, and are probably to two tennis players you want to watch the most.  That is based on play and not on looks, because Maria Sharapova and Ava Ivanovic would obviously be the most watchable players from the male demographic between 16-96.

- When will the NFL season begin?  Can’t wait.

Bizarro Deeley-O this Thursday.  Stay tuned.  www.chevradioam.com is my show address.  Cheers.

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Sex, lies and videotapes, we had it all this week.  We had blogger shows and hoser smack and anything in between.  Personally, and I say this with nearly the most tenure on this blogging site, that this week may have been one of the most important weeks for Fox bloggers.  Frank’s show has begun to pick up more steam with each passing day as there is big anticipation for his week 3 show with week 4 having huge potential as well.  My show got stronger thanks to the blogger show.  And there’s discussion of a get-together of some sorts with the blessing of Nashville’s Fox affiliate.  We keep this going who knows what could be in store next…

- Roger Goodell is cleaning out his desk as we speak.  No he hasn’t been fired, but there has to be a clear mess roughly 2-3 minutes after he opened an e-mail from the offensive line coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers.  With all the work he’s put in monitoring Mike Vick, Tank Johnson and the Cincinnati Bengals he deserves a stress-reliever.  His job is tougher than we think and that coach did him a favor as far as I am concerned.  Hope his hand did not feel like Phil Mickelson after he finished up.

- Speaking of Vick, does anyone have this eerie feeling that Michael Vick will somehow perform the same act off the field as he does on it by slipping through the small window and breaking free from this whole dog-fighting fiasco.  For some reason I have the feeling that he will blow through this and not be touched despite all the character issues we have seen for ourselves, dog-fighting or not.  My biggest question is how did he bet on high-stakes dog fighting back in 2000 when he was in college.  Wouldn’t there be an investigation on how he got his hands on that kind of cash while at Va-Tech?  

One thing is for certain: he should forget the dogs and take the time to work on hitting his receivers in stride.  However, if he claims that he uses dogs to train for his passing I would believe him.  How else can you explain the bounce passes to receivers?

- Was it bush or was it not?  Alex Rodriguez gets into trouble for the second time in a span of less than 24 hours (we’ll get to the stripper in a second).  What he did was total bush.  That is something that children do at house league games because they have never been taught properly about sportsmanship.  When you are taking pages out of the little leaguer’s playbook then it’s total bush.  Granted, Howie Clark has no business being in the major leagues but we cannot control J.P. Ricciardi’s irrational decision to bring that tool back to Toronto.  But with A-Fraud’s track record there is reasonable doubt.  Plus if you watch the footage in slow motion it shows that he also lied about what he said.  If what he did was NOT bush league then he has no reason to lie about what he said, or cover it up.

Best example I can give to those who disagree: I played in a league where this catcher would start yelling purposely as the pitcher would be lifting his leg to throw towards home plate.  Do you call that smart or is that bush league?  TOTAL BUSH.  There is no difference between that and what Cheat-Rod did.  That catcher, by the way, hurt his hand later that season on an "accidental" catcher’s interference.  He deserved to wear one.

- Back to Stray-Rod, I guess he is like a lot of other star athletes who want a housewife at home to take care of kids so he can pop any broad on the road.  Here is a crystal clear message for him: Good guys don’t cheat.  If you go around banging strippers and catch an STD, you may be passing it onto your wife because of YOUR stupidity.  But Fraudriguez doesn’t care, or any other cheating athlete because they are completely selfish.  Oh, and then there’s the children.  Children shouldn’t have to grow up resenting their cheating mother or father, carrying around anger because of one of their parents not using their head, choosing the selfish and one of the most digusting acts anyone can commit in a marriage.  Blow your family to bits for a stripper - REAL GENIUS.  How can a 250 million dollar man be a worthless individual?

Derek Jeter has the right idea; if you are an athlete and like women stay SINGLE.  That way you can run around and do your thing and you aren’t hurting anyone else while doing it.  The Man Hall of Fame is engraving Jeter’s name as we speak.

- Kobe, Kobe, Kobe…We discussed this on the blogger show and since then a few more thoughts have entered my mind.  I know the source that said Kobe ran Shaq out of town ticked Kobe off badly, but as a basketball player who has been in the NBA since 1996 he has been in the league long enough to know how to handle certain situations.  With all that time being under the spotlight he should have known better to react that way.  Or did he?  There could be two ways to look at it: 1) He wants Jerry West badly that he did this to potentially push Mitch Kupchiak out or 2) He just completely lost it.  This means he is either a total genius or made a slight error in judgement. 

IF HE WERE TO BE TRADED: The best value for Bryant comes from the West so if you are the Lakers and you wanted to trade Kobe it would be to a team that can load up your team with talent and that comes from the West.  Odds of him being traded is highly unlikely, but why not at least hear offers?  I wouldn’t actively pursue a deal but if someone were to call you for a deal just say two words: I’m listening.

- The Stanley Cup finals TV ratings in the United States is down 22% from last year.  I didn’t think that was even possible.  Funniest quote came from The Brother when he said "How do you lose 22% of nothing.  It’s still nothing."  He was always a whiz in math.

Maybe what needs to be done with the revenues hockey brings in is to start programs in the U.S. to entice kids to play hockey rather than put it into making new jerseys that are so expensive that it won’t sell or add an additional 4 million to each team’s salary cap.  The talk is salary caps will go from 44 to 48 million.  Why not make it 46 and take all the revenues from next year and put it into supporting your sport in the U.S.?  Otherwise, you can hire the best marketing experts in the world and America still won’t embrace a league that is broken, whether the NHL will admit it or not.

- Lebron James’s amazing performance yesterday will go down as one of the best ever.  I still think Detroit can and should win this series in 7 games.  If that happens, no fault should be pinned on James despite his poor efforts in Games 1 and 2.  When you have role players who cannot be role players there is a problem.  That is a shout out to Larry Hughes, Donyell Marshall, Sasha Pavlovic, Drew Gooden, Damon Jones and Eric Snow.  You need to help out your star player who just put this team on his back last night.  Your aging center is killing himself out there doing what he can with what he still has left in the tank and your top bench player, Daniel Gibson, has stepped up like you wouldn’t believe.  Time you guys earn your money and do the same.  Otherwise, Detroit will win the next two games which would be better than a San Antonio sweep of the NBA finals against Detroit.

- If Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal reach the French Open Final, you may want to tune in.  One of the best rivalries in sports right now. 

REMINDER: Bizarro Deeley-O is on beginning this Wednesday as I will post a blog message from random Canadians for you to answer on my show.  Also, my phones are working (somewhat) now.  If you get the chance to tune in this Monday on www.chevradioam.com I will reveal the toll-free digits.  The Bizarro Deeley-O will be on Thursday, and questions may rain down throughout the day.  It’s your show folks.  Oh, and listen to Frank on Wednesday (FRANK!  Any plugs would be greatly appreciated.  Cheers!)

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